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Journal Entry 19

In this activity, you will explore assertiveness. This powerful way of being creates great results, strengthens relationships, and builds self-esteem.

1. Write three different responses to the instructor described in the following situation. Respond to the instructor by (1) placating, (2) blaming, and (3) leveling. For an example of this exercise, refer to the dialogues on page 199.

Situation: you register for a course required in your major. It is the last course you need to graduate. When you go to the first class meeting, the instructor tells you that your name is NOT on the roster. The course is full, and no other sections of the course are being offered. You’ve been shut out of the class. The instructor tells you that you’ll have to postpone graduation and return next semester to complete this required course.

Remember, in each of your three responses, you are writing what you would actually say to the instructor—first as a placatory, second as a blamer, and third as a leveler.

  1. Placating:  I truly apologize for disturbing your class. However, I would be really grateful if you can please help me by taking me in, so that I can graduate on time.


  1. Blaming: I was not told about the class being full when I registered for the course. It is the admissions office responsibility to notify the student if a class is full. There is some mistake on either your part or the admissions office’s part, and hence my name is not on the roster. Please clarify so that I do not suffer as a result of somebody else’s mistakes.


  1. Leveling:  I do not mean to disturb your class, and understand that presently the class is full. However, you must understand that I did successfully register for this class, and was not made aware of the class being full. This can cost me an entire extra semester. I would therefore, like to set up a meeting with you and the department head at the earliest to resolve this issue.

 2. Now, think about one of your most challenging academic goals. Decide who could help you with his goal, write a letter to this person and request assistance. You can decide later if you actually want to send the letter.

Here are some possibilities to include in your letter.

• Tell the person your most challenging academic goal for this semester.

• Explain how this goal is a steppingstone to your dream.

• Describe your dream and explain its importance to you.

• Identify your obstacle, explaining it fully.

• Discuss how you believe this person can help you overcome your obstacle.

• Admit any reluctance or fear you have about asking for assistance.

• Request exactly what you would like this person to do for you and persuade him of her to give you helpful assistance.

Remember, for effective requests, use the DAPPS rules.

Dear Mr. Smith:

This is (student’s name) here. I have been a student in your Algebra class in the past year. I am now taking Algebra II and Trigonometry this academic year. I am not performing well in this class. I am in my senior year and need a good grade in this class to get in to a good college and pursue my dream of a successful career in Architecture. I am unable to comprehend the material as presented by my current class teacher. I have never been poor with Math classes; however I failed my recent exam in Algebra II and Trigonometry. It has really put me down, and my current teacher’s method of teaching is not helping. I am very fond of your style of teaching and require the kind of patience that you show with your students. Please provide me a couple of days per week, when you can help me with my difficulties after school. I would truly appreciate your help with bringing my grade up in Algebra II and Trigonometry.

Thank You,
Student NAME

  1. Write what you have learned or relearned about being assertive. How assertive have you been in the pursuit of your goals and dreams? How has this choice affected your self-esteem? What changes do you intend to make in communicating (placating, blaming, leveling), making requests, and saying “no”? Be sure to dive deep!

This exercise reminded me that it is imperative to be assertive in order to achieve my goals. It made me comfortable about asking for help when needed. I now understand that it is better to be assertive about my needs and ask for help when needed without blaming anyone. It is in my benefit to explore all the available resources and use them as required. I am aware that a little extra help in Math can help me go a long way. I intend to communicate my needs to my teacher and get help for myself.

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Remember, to xxxxxxx the most xxxxxxx from your xxxxxxx xxxxxxx deep! xxxxxxx the five xxxxxxx printed on xxxxxxx inside xxxxxxx xxxxxxx of your xxxxxxx 101 On xxxxxxx textbook.

Journal Entry xxxxxxx this activity, xxxxxxx will explore xxxxxxx This powerful xxxxxxx xxxxxxx being xxxxxxx great results, xxxxxxx relationships, and xxxxxxx self-esteem.

1. xxxxxxx xxxxxxx different responses xxxxxxx the instructor xxxxxxx in the xxxxxxx situation. Respond xxxxxxx the instructor xxxxxxx (1) placating, xxxxxxx xxxxxxx and xxxxxxx leveling. For xxxxxxx example of xxxxxxx exercise, xxxxxxx xxxxxxx the dialogues xxxxxxx page 199.

Situation: xxxxxxx register for xxxxxxx course required xxxxxxx your major. xxxxxxx is the xxxxxxx xxxxxxx you xxxxxxx to graduate. xxxxxxx you go xxxxxxx the xxxxxxx xxxxxxx meeting, the xxxxxxx tells you xxxxxxx your name xxxxxxx NOT on xxxxxxx roster. The xxxxxxx is full, xxxxxxx xxxxxxx other xxxxxxx of the xxxxxxx are being xxxxxxx You’ve xxxxxxx xxxxxxx out of xxxxxxx class. The xxxxxxx tells you xxxxxxx you’ll have xxxxxxx postpone graduation xxxxxxx return next xxxxxxx xxxxxxx complete xxxxxxx required course.

Remember, xxxxxxx each of xxxxxxx three xxxxxxx xxxxxxx are writing xxxxxxx you would xxxxxxx say to xxxxxxx instructor—first as xxxxxxx placatory, second xxxxxxx a blamer, xxxxxxx xxxxxxx as xxxxxxx leveler.

  1. Placating:  I xxxxxxx apologize for xxxxxxx your xxxxxxx xxxxxxx I would xxxxxxx really grateful xxxxxxx you can xxxxxxx help me xxxxxxx taking me xxxxxxx so that xxxxxxx xxxxxxx graduate xxxxxxx time.

Blaming: I xxxxxxx not xxxxxxx xxxxxxx the class xxxxxxx full when xxxxxxx registered for xxxxxxx course. It xxxxxxx the admissions xxxxxxx responsibility to xxxxxxx xxxxxxx student xxxxxxx a class xxxxxxx full. There xxxxxxx some xxxxxxx xxxxxxx either your xxxxxxx or the xxxxxxx office’s part, xxxxxxx hence my xxxxxxx is not xxxxxxx the roster. xxxxxxx xxxxxxx so xxxxxxx I do xxxxxxx suffer as xxxxxxx result xxxxxxx xxxxxxx else’s mistakes.


 2. xxxxxxx think about xxxxxxx of your xxxxxxx xxxxxxx academic xxxxxxx Decide who xxxxxxx help you xxxxxxx his xxxxxxx xxxxxxx a letter xxxxxxx this person xxxxxxx request assistance. xxxxxxx can decide xxxxxxx if you xxxxxxx want to xxxxxxx xxxxxxx letter.

Here xxxxxxx some possibilities xxxxxxx include in xxxxxxx letter.

• xxxxxxx xxxxxxx person your xxxxxxx challenging academic xxxxxxx for this xxxxxxx Explain how xxxxxxx goal is xxxxxxx steppingstone to xxxxxxx xxxxxxx Describe xxxxxxx dream and xxxxxxx its importance xxxxxxx you.

• xxxxxxx xxxxxxx obstacle, explaining xxxxxxx fully.

• Discuss xxxxxxx you believe xxxxxxx person can xxxxxxx you overcome xxxxxxx obstacle.

• Admit xxxxxxx xxxxxxx or xxxxxxx you have xxxxxxx asking for xxxxxxx Request xxxxxxx xxxxxxx you would xxxxxxx this person xxxxxxx do for xxxxxxx and persuade xxxxxxx of her xxxxxxx give you xxxxxxx xxxxxxx for xxxxxxx requests, use xxxxxxx DAPPS rules.

Dear xxxxxxx Smith:
Student xxxxxxx value="4">Write what xxxxxxx have xxxxxxx xxxxxxx relearned about xxxxxxx assertive. How xxxxxxx have you xxxxxxx in the xxxxxxx of your xxxxxxx and dreams? xxxxxxx xxxxxxx this xxxxxxx affected your xxxxxxx What changes xxxxxxx you xxxxxxx xxxxxxx make in xxxxxxx (placating, blaming, xxxxxxx making requests, xxxxxxx saying “no”? xxxxxxx sure to xxxxxxx deep!

This exercise xxxxxxx xxxxxxx that xxxxxxx is imperative xxxxxxx be assertive xxxxxxx order xxxxxxx xxxxxxx my goals. xxxxxxx made me xxxxxxx about asking xxxxxxx help when xxxxxxx I now xxxxxxx that it xxxxxxx xxxxxxx to xxxxxxx assertive about xxxxxxx needs and xxxxxxx for xxxxxxx xxxxxxx needed without xxxxxxx anyone. It xxxxxxx in my xxxxxxx to explore xxxxxxx the available xxxxxxx and use xxxxxxx xxxxxxx required. xxxxxxx am aware xxxxxxx a little xxxxxxx help xxxxxxx xxxxxxx can help xxxxxxx go a xxxxxxx way. I xxxxxxx to communicate xxxxxxx needs to xxxxxxx teacher and xxxxxxx xxxxxxx for xxxxxxx

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